Even the sagest men need teaching

http://read.mtvhive.com/2011/05/17/spitz-take-the-mike-doughty-mix-tape-experiment/

Here’s the real list, from my perspective:

  1. White Lexus – Establishes you as a broken man who needs to be fixed, but not so tragically broken that you’re unsalvageable.  We want to be that special girl who teaches you how to feel again.  (Note to men:  women like fixing you.  It’s that mothering instinct.)
  2. Down on the River by the Sugar Plant – Also known as ‘the sexual tension song.’ We like it when you dream about us, and we like it when you really want to kiss us but don’t feel worthy (yet).  Remember, we like foreplay before you get some.
  3. Wednesday (No Se Apoye) – We like it when you long for us in your spare thoughts.  Bonus points for mentioning the stars, universal symbol of “the deep man.”  So even if you’re just feigning a soul, we’ll pretend with you for an evening and you might get some.
  4. Let the Moon Get Into It – See above, “the deep man.”  Also keep in mind that if you engage our imagination, we will build you up into someone perfect.  Keep your mouth shut long enough to feed the illusion and you will get some.
  5. Real Love – Our illusions always involve falling deeply in love.  A woman wrote this song, after all.  We want to be THE ONE special enough to set your heart free.  This will get you some.
  6. Looking at the World from the Bottom of a Well – It’s a good idea to remind us how lonely that empty bed can be.  We’ll let you bat it down for an evening.
  7. Tremendous Brunettes – This turns it into a challenge, which we adore.  Will make us seduce you.  (Works especially well with brunettes, which I am.)
  8. Ways and Means – We want you to say our name on the microphone.  We also know that most of what you spew is bullshit contrived to help you get some.  But we need to believe there are droplets of truth in there.  The sexy beat makes it even better.
  9. Grey Ghost – Implies that when you take us home, it will be so amazing that we’re in jeopardy of falling through the stars.  This is a very good thing.  Maybe you are the man wading out into the night and doing everything we imagine.  Also establishes that you live alone, and therefore we’re not competing with another woman.
  10. Your Misfortune – You let us in, dreamed about us, fell in love, took away the loneliness, made us seduce you, told us the truth finally, and fucked us so beautifully we saw stars.  Now you’re offering to save us from ourselves too?  Oh, Prince Charming, you have become the illusion.  We are absolutely convinced of your perfection so you can now have whatever you want.